By Rachid Acim
By Rachid Acim
Beni Mellal – In the past days, many media analysts and human rights activists initiated a controversial debate about sexual freedom in Morocco. Some people touched on the core and heart of the issue, while others merely tackled the surface and did not present solid arguments for their position.
A small group of people will never be representative of the whole spectrum of the Moroccan community. They mustn’t speak on behalf of all Moroccans. This is a red line they should not encroach upon.
One point that I am concerned with here is virginity. What do people mean when they say “virgin”? Are all women (and also men) still virgins or not? Will you accept marrying a person who has lost his/her virginity? And, to what extent are we able to safeguard this priceless and precious gift offered to us by the Heavens?
These questions and, many more, are what I would like to explore.
Among the widely circulating definitions given to virginity is the following: “Virginity is the state of a person who has never had any sexual experience or intercourse with any partner.”
This definition is still vague since lots of people may have countless experiences in sexual intercourse with other people without losing their virginity. Think of same sex marriage. Lesbians and gays are indulging in pleasurable experiences of sex, but are they really a virgin? It would be naive to say yes.
Many girls, walk almost undressed, near mosques and temples, hugging and kissing their lovers in public places, blurring the eyes of onlookers, hurting emotions simultaneously and arousing people’s sexual appetite unwittingly. Are they really virgins? In my view, they are not.
Many young men, single and even married, await young girls to finish school to offer them a ride, and take them somewhere to satisfy their sexual pleasure. Are they themselves virgin? I doubt it.
Virginity is not simply tied to penile-vaginal penetration. It is more than that. It is deeply associated with honor, purity and worth. Traditionally, virginity has involved abstinence from sex before marriage, but now it has more to do with chastity.
Just after marriage, the first thing that the two families of the couple do is to wake up so early, preferably at dawn and take what they call the trousers of al-Dokhla stained with blood, and shrill massively in the streets, making lots of noise, signaling the previous virginity as well as the purity of the girl.
Such a bad tradition is fading away as it does connote nothing but ignorance and a misunderstanding of what virginity is.
Sorry. Virginity should not be associated with a pair of trousers stained with blood. The couple can injure themselves and assert that they are both virgins. Also, a cheap surgery can help restore artificial virginity lasting for no more than 24 hours.
A true story goes: one day a wife tried to surprise her husband. She called on a Chinese person to help her regain her virginity. She had the surgery and she turned into a virgin after seven years of marriage. The husband was in a bind. The surprise did not yield good results this time. The husband had to divorce his wife as she might have resorted to the same trick on the first day of marriage.
Girls, and by implication women, are always to blame if they are found not to be virgins. This may bring shame to the family and the whole tribe. That’s why conservative families tend to lock the females inside the house and hardly let them access the outside world. They are afraid of shame. But we never ask about men’s past. It may be dark and gloomy.
Think of this. Due to the internet and cell phones, many females may lose their virginity. There are thousand people who are ready to pay thousands of dollars to engage in an online sexual intercourse. One is left to regret being married to a girl who had had many sexual adventures in the virtual realm. This is applicable also to men.
When you chat with a girl and she shamefully invites you to bed her, you have but to switch off your laptop and bid farewell to technology. We have become worthless in terms of moral values. And virginity is the least thing we can speak of.
I really do pity those who call for sexual freedom. They cannot resist the situation any longer. They seem to be completely controlled by their sexual desires and orientations. Their sexual drive is leading them nowhere. They want to be free to demoralize all girls, ruin their virginity if existing, laugh at them, and finally, take pride in acquiring many infectious illnesses like Aids and other sexually transmitted diseases to our societies.
If they want it, then let it be in their families. Religion and corruption don’t go together.
Jennifer Brooke & Marche Jackson (2006), the authors of Why Virginity Matters, mention ten principles for esteeming one’s purity:
Principle 1: Know what God thinks of your virginity.
Principle 2: Keep your thoughts focused on His precepts.
Principle 3: Protect yourself.
Principle 4: Pursue the right man.
Principle 5: Have the right relationships.
Principle 6: Serve God in your singleness.
Principle 7: Take heed lest you fall.
Principle 8: Do not worry, fantasize, nor be afraid
Principle 9: You need more than Sex Ed.
Principle 10: You are already a bride.
The third principle deserves much attention: Protect yourself. This sounds difficult at the very outset, but thanks to sports training and a strong faith in what one believes, a person is capable of abstaining from the sexual tricks played by some people.
Dear sister and dear brother, regardless of your age, if you have never had any sexual pre-marital relationship, you should be rejoicing. If you have never accepted any invitation to any sexual allurement by anybody, you should also be rejoicing and thanking God for that.
It is very bad when you hear that a young woman who you were considering for marriage proves to be impure. The woman who stays up late outside, wandering in the streets alone, from corner to corner, spending red nights with different lovers, taking one for love, another for marriage, hugging one warmly on the ground of cigars smell and going with another for a fake moment of romance is not a virgin and will never be.
What to do then?
Pray to God. He can send you a sweet virgin, a beautiful hourie instead. But that will be just a dream and a dream is thousand times better than reality.
Edited by Benjamin Villanti
The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect Morocco World News’ editorial policy
