By Rachid Acim
By Rachid Acim
Beni Mellal, Morocco – Have you ever fallen in love? Have you ever beheld a beautiful girl in the street and wished you could have and love only her? Did it occur to you that the first love is just ludicrous, that the first love itself is not worthwhile living for, that you need to read about love but never dare experience what it really is?
Men would agree that in order to be successful in love, you don’t need to give much attention to your beloved. Indifference, so does carelessness from your side, help you definitely impress the woman you blindly love and capture her heart all at once.
Women have another view. The more you display your feelings of love, the more trustworthy you become in their eyes. This is not true. Indifference sounds quite good in my view. Why?
A friend of mine – a novice teacher –recently joined the network of teachers in our region. He came to complain to me about the unfairness of love. He was sustaining a host of psychological troubles he could not share with anybody. At first sight, I felt the man was passing through critical financial moments and badly needed aid. He said, “No.”
I felt somewhat happy; he was not coming to borrow money. I had to see what made him terribly distressed in this very blessed month, wherein people are seeking God’s mercy indoors and outdoors. He emphasized that he was fasting , making great efforts to do so. I had to turn the query in a different direction; maybe he could be much more honest and answer me. He was very reluctant to divulge the secret that was agonizing him whilst fasting.
I thought and thought, then the issue was stark to me. My poor friend was in love. After I asked him about this, he could not hide it anymore. His tearful eyes and reddish cheeks spoke loudly about this to me. He was in love with another teacher of another subject. They are neighbors both at work and at home. Soon, love was going to separate the two.
Doctors can prescribe efficient medicines to all human diseases except love. To love means to suffer. But is there anybody on earth so worthy of your love, dude? That’s a very challenging theoretical query, which requires deep reasoning and reflection. If there is someone to be loved, it is your parents.
Teachers must be likewise loved. They work very hard daily to teach, entertain and instruct students on a number of issues apart from the subject they teach.
Friends need also that love, especially if they are caring, committed, courteous, outgoing and ready to give a hand. The motto goes, “a friend in need is a friend indeed”. Still true.
But the best love goes upward. It is divine and fair.
Unfortunately, we do not have institutions that can provide assistance and medical care to the problems of love that humans sometimes get involved in. The person above, who resolved to continue fasting till dawn, was overcome by love. Love sneaked into his heart with no prior warning. He was therefore doomed to suffer in his platonic world of love.
It is gullible to love somebody and he or she is turning their back on you. A very cultivated intellectual like a teacher should not fall under this trap. Instead, he should have been more alert to such shortcomings. We are not living in a rosy age wherein Juliet can look through the balcony and warmly welcome her truthful lover Romeo.
We are not living in a utopian world in which the Majnoun would sing songs of praise to his faithful beloved Leila. That’s purely fictional. Indeed, both stories of love are not applicable to our cultural context. For us, love takes another dimension. Simply, it means money. The whole love transaction nowadays is about money. But money is not the pinnacle of happiness. A person who suffers of love is veritably in a dire need of our guidance and assistance.
Daphne R. Kingma, the author of True Love: How to Make Your Relationship Sweeter, Deeper, and More Passionate maintains that love has a marvelous magic effect on human souls. It can last forever. It can heal. It can transform. It can bring inestimable joy. Nearly in each one of us, there is a great longing for love.
The love we need, however, is not pink or red roses, sweet kisses, warm hugs, honeyed mobile SMS-messages or artificially-expressed icons of love. Seriously, we need a sense of peace and security of spirit to be able to choose one true love from the huge number, who merely heard of love but never ever truly experienced its core substance.
My sole advice to you dude is to be more realistic. You strongly speak for the other youths suffering from love. I congratulate you on being still alive emotionally. Don’t get depressed if she deserts you. Stay tranquil as usual. An orange juice can help calm you down.
If you could manage it, marriage is the cure, the best cure. When married, write a note and wear it on your chest. Then, walk proudly reading the phrase out into the open, “Sweetheart, lucky me! I got married – but you are UNWANTED.”
I sincerely hope you will never get married.
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