Marrakech - Marriage is a divine relationship and a sacred union – as recognized by law and religion – between two people who decide to spend the rest of their lives together, and the hereafter too as Muslims believe.
Marrakech – Marriage is a divine relationship and a sacred union – as recognized by law and religion – between two people who decide to spend the rest of their lives together, and the hereafter too as Muslims believe.
But before entering such a holy union, one must not forget that the engagement period is as divine as marriage, and couples should hallow it and perceive it as a heavenly blessing.
Its importance resides in understanding the other party to the extent of coming up with an irrefutable conclusion, which is either to marry the person in question, or not.
In order to come to this conclusion, there are certain steps that a couple should follow in their attempt to assess their compatibility.
Every person, male or female, has certain traits in their personality, which they carry along to their marital life. Based on the division that Dr. Tariq Al Habeeb,a professor and consultant psychiatrist, gives in his presentations about marriage, these traits fall under three main categories: a father-like or mother-like personality, an adult-like personality and a child-like personality, bearing in mind that no personality is better than the other. These traits do not, in any way, lessen the value of a human being. They are mere portrayals of a person’s psychological structure. The difference they show is only in terms of diversity not of superiority.
Follow is a simplified description of each trait:
1. A person with a father-like or mother-like personality is a caregiver. They enjoy taking care of others and prefer not to be taken care of. They find pleasure in helping others and would rather not receive help from anyone, more than that they do not appreciate it.
2. A person with an adult-like personality likes to have a give and take in a relationship. They take pleasure in lending a hand to people in need, but they also savor it when being taken care of. Thus, they wish to receive as much care from others as they offer.
3. A person with a child-like personality, as the name shows, loves to receive love, care and attention, as well as material objects. This does not mean in any way that the person is selfish; but his/her character is simply shaped that way. For example, if this person falls sick, he/she likes to be the center of attention of others and is not satisfied until every one notices his/her and is taken care of.
However, before analyzing the trait of one’s future spouse, one needs to understand his or her own traits. Only then can they judge if they are well suited for each other or not.
After that comes the stage of assessing the couple’s compatibility. Each character of the ones previously mentioned suits one and only one character, and they match as follows:
A spouse with a father-like or mother-like personality matches the one with a child-like personality, and vice versa. The former takes pleasure in giving while the latter appreciates receiving, thus completing each other.
On the other hand, if two people with a child-like personality get married, they will not be able to coexist since they both need to receive care and none can give it to the other, which will make it impossible for both partners to please one another.
A husband with an adult-like personality matches a wife with the same trait, and vice versa, because they are both fond of giving and receiving, consequently satisfying each other’s needs.
However, when a person with a child-like personality marries one with an adult-like personality, he or she will appreciate it when the other party is in the giving mood, but when the latter needs care and attention, he or she will see the other as demanding and bothersome.
Of course, there are other steps that lead to a successful marriage, but the ones mentioned above are the ones I believe engaged couples should take into consideration first, before moving towards any advanced stages of the engagement.