By Rachid Khouya
By Rachid Khouya
Morocco World News
Smara, Morocco, October 15, 2012
The source of our agony, misery and grief comes from the way we view and value ourselves. The image we seem to have about the person we are and the person we want to be can either bring us joy, happiness and ease or pain, sadness, heartbreak, trouble and discomfort.
It is up to us all: to every single person to stop from time to time for a while and reflect upon the way we see ourselves in the eyes of our minds. The “I”ness we are is, positively or negatively, affected by the ideas and the perceptions we hold about our inner-self.
Every day, we spend much time in front of the mirror, taking care of our figure, combing our hair, or figuring out an attractive outfit that others might like. Consciously or unconsciously, we always want to appear to others the way they want us to be. In the deepest corners of our unconsciousness, we kill the persons we are to be the persons others like. Thus, without being aware of it, we commit a big crime against our real personality in order to satisfy others who will never be satisfied if you follow their whims and desires.
Life is so short to be spent in futile attempts to satisfy others. Our life is ours and it should be lived according to our willingness and volition. “Nothing , but everything can satisfy others.” Therefore, we need to spend more time with ourselves instead of spending it with those who do not spend time with themselves. Wisdom and learning often spring from the minds of those who leave the herds to reflect on themselves, nature and creation.
Brazilian author, Paulo Coelho puts it beautifully while using the analogy of the two neighbors. In his text Looking at Other People’s Gardens, he says that “when we start planting the garden of our life, we glance to one side and notice our neighbor is there, spying. He himself is incapable of growing anything, but he likes to give advice on when to sow actions, when to fertilize thoughts, and when to water achievements.” He concludes, “if we listen to what this neighbor is saying, we will end up working for him, and the garden of our life will be our neighbor’s idea.”
To develop our character, everyone should evaluate our personality traits, judge ourselves according to the way we want ourselves to be, and get rid of the colonization of others over ourselves. Others are there to co-exist with us, to live with us and integrate with us, not to make them dwell inside our minds, hearts and eyes. Yes, we are social beings and we can not live on our own. Yet, there are limits and frontiers to be respected. If everyone changes himself/herself, society will be corrected and will be changed.
Experts in character education use the word “SWOT” in their strategies to heal our personality struggle. Firstly, “S” stands for our points of Strength. One can not develop without knowing his/her strengths. Secondly, “W” stands for our Weaknesses. We should know our weakness first. Thirdly, “O” stands for the Opportunities we have to progress, and finally “T” refers to the Threats that may stand as hurdles on our ways to achieve our goals and aims in life.
In brief, instead of watching our eyes, ears, mustaches and hair in the mirror every morning, we should start watching our strengths and weaknesses, find out the opportunities life provides us with and the threats that may hinder our efforts to be the person we want to be and to live the life the way we want. This way, we will start the process of self-development, self-investment and self-strengthening. As Confucius put it, “Good people strengthen themselves ceaselessly.”
The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect Morocco World News’ editorial policy
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