By Houda El Moutassim Bilah
By Houda El Moutassim Bilah
Morocco World News
Marakesh, May 6, 2013
After having shared my own reflections on life in my very first article, here comes another one that summarizes other very important lessons that life has taught me regarding how to perceive my blessings, how to try to understand life and how to deal with the people around me especially those closest to me.
What having a job has taught me is that first, everyone who does should feel blessed because many people out there are still searching for one, but to no avail. Some are less talented than us but there are others out there who are surely more skilled than we are but are still jobless. And the reason behind us being this fortunate while others aren’t is one of God’s many mysteries on earth which all fall under the category of “everything happens for a reason”.
Second, having a job that I actually love and enjoy has taught me that even though I do love and enjoy it, that doesn’t mean that every minute of it has to be fun or problem-free, it simply means that our love for the job will multiply our patience so that we bare the obstacles that we will surely face along the way.
Our love for our jobs will also instill in our minds the belief that these same obstacles are nothing but a passing cloud; they will not stay there forever, and the sooner we realize this the better it is for us to swiftly enjoy the clear blue sky of the upcoming days.
These obstacles can also be perceived as the price to pay for having a job that we love and enjoy so much; a price that we can gladly pay knowing that it’s only there to freshen up our minds so that we long for the stress-free days at work which we let pass unrecognized. Now, after the cloud passes and the blue sky reappears, we’ll be as happy about going to work the next morning as we were when we first got the job.
Some seemingly irrational events in my life have taught me to believe that everything happen for a reason indeed. Some people strongly believe in the latter saying, which leads them to live a satisfied life knowing that there is only so much we, human beings, can make happen as opposed to what Our Creator can do. They are the same people who sensibly understand that there is undoubtedly a hidden wisdom behind each single event in our life, whether we’re aware of it or not.
While other people’s understanding is too limited to grasp such wisdom, they try vainly to rationalize every event in their lives, compare their misfortunes to others’ fortunes and end up wasting their lives asking the wrong questions, mourning what they don’t have instead of taking pleasure in what they have.
What listening to some relationship experts taught me, is that each and every one of us has their own not-so-easy-to-understand personality traits. Thus, in our daily encounter with them, we need to take these traits into account, but before we can do that, we first need to understand our own personality traits. Isn’t in this same attempt of understanding ourselves that we end up understanding the other?
After that comes learning how to deal with these different traits so that we avoid all sorts of unnecessary conflicts in our everyday relationships and learn how to deal with these conflicts once they appear to the surface. Only when understanding these different personal qualities and learning how to act towards the people who have them can our daily relationships run smoothly.
And when it comes to dealing with our spouses, I learnt that men and women are different in every possible way, and the trap that most couples fall in is expecting their spouses to think and act the way that they themselves do: wives expect their husbands to treat them the way they, as women, would treat each other: to understand them and care for them in the same feminine way. But women need to understand that men have their own way of showing love, affection and interest towards their wives. It is different for sure, but it’s there.
Husbands also need to stop expecting their wives to be less talkative and more practical, as is the case for most men. Husbands need to tolerate the fact that their wives talk too much about their problems instead of solving them right away, and should listen to them, show their interest and then help them fix the problem if need be. Isn’t it this same expectation that causes dissatisfaction and conflicts between couples, and leads to eventual meaningless avoidable divorces?
Life teaches us lessons on a regular basis, but it’s up to us to either learn the lessons or leave them pass by unnoticed. Let’s open not only our minds to understand the lessons but our souls to embrace and remember them.
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