By Zakaria El Hajji
By Zakaria El Hajji
Rabat – Do you often encounter problems in your relationship with your partner? Are you sick of trying to fix your relations but they always end up with a break up? Have you become a relation avoidant due to your successive failed attempts? Why don’t you seek the help of a Marriage Counselor?
Marriage counseling is one of the buzzwords around the corner of self-help and self-development that has gained a huge popularity in the West and other parts of the world. However, did it gain any attention from our Moroccan fellows? I’ll suggest five reasons why Moroccans wouldn’t seek the help of a Marriage Counselor when their ship wrecks before it drowns in misery.
One of the defense mechanisms advanced in psychoanalysis is denial. Married couples may not admit that they are undergoing some relationship stumble blocks and, thus, may not move to the next stage of talking about the elephant in the room. As long as the snowball is rolling downhill, it gains momentum.
2- Low Emotional Intelligence (E.I):
The newly coined term Emotional Intelligence refers to the person’s ability to identify, assess and control the emotions of oneself, of others and of groups. (Wikipedia)
When emotionally unaware, couples may take their problems personally and blame themselves for failing at being the perfect partner or blaming their partner to be the wrong person. It’s absolutely O.K. to face some challenges in the course of your relationship, it’s even a healthy sign that shows that both of you are getting somewhere. Such challenges are like cancer cells, if treated when still benign they disappear, while if ignored, they get malignant and cause death. Therefore, first things first, being emotionally aware requires you to be conscious of the little changes that take place in the relation, to be an active listener and to be open to talking about the little things that matter the most.
3- Fear of the Unfamiliar:
Marriage counselors haven’t gained popularity in the Moroccan society especially among the middle class which constitutes the majority. Some couples are not willing to invest their money in mere talking sessions. Some Moroccans need a take-home product from the session and find it unfamiliar to get back home empty handed, that’s not what they are willing to pay for. However, we have noticed that some people are getting aware of the existence of such counselors through mass media as we have been introduced lately to some radio programs and T.V shows that deal with self-help issues.
4- The Conservative Perspective:
Some couples have been brought up in a conservative atmosphere where talking about one’s internal affairs is classified and sacred. Thus, there is no way personal problems should be leaked or disclosed outside the four walls. Others wouldn’t feel compelled to share their intimacies with a stranger they barely know and whose help isn’t guaranteed.
5- The Use of Other Alternatives:
While Marriage Counselors might be the best choice for some couples, others resort to popular, unscientific methods.
Some couples seek help and advice from their family members and friends. Others, with some knowledge, might seek online help from forums and websites. However, the worst case scenario is seeking the help of clairvoyants, claiming the use of sorcery and witchcraft. Such clairvoyants have been the Marriage Counselors for a long time prying on ignorant people. Ignorance is bless, is at least true for those clairvoyants.
All of the fore-mentioned reasons make the task of Marriage Counseling a challenging one, as the Moroccan culture and mind-set do not provide yet the fertile soil in which the seeds of new trends can grow easily.
The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect Morocco World News’ editorial policy
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