Decisions: A blessing in disguise or a curse?

By Meriem Gassim

Morocco World News

Marrakesh, April 23, 2013

Since I was a little kid, I have learned the most shocking truth yet which is essential in one’s life. This is regarding decisions. There are the bad ones and the good ones and in either case you have to live with them.

Society has a scale which you have to live up to, so every choice has to be calculated or you will lose that precious status. Studying hard, getting good grades, getting into prestigious schools, these are the good decisions from the point of view of society and of families. Your point of view does not really count or matter. So dreaming to become a singer, a dancer or an actor is not up for discussion, or even majoring in philosophy because there is no way you can build a career out of that. Basically, society kills your dreams before they can see the light of the day.

Practically, society has written a guide book on how to succeed in life. The supreme rule you have to be kind so people like you, but not too kind so people won’t fool you. Graduate with honors because any other way won’t make your parents proud and second place is not for winners.

The recipe for success needs the following ingredients: the six digit salary, the big house, the shiny car and most importantly the trophy wife with a combination of good looks and brains, but she cannot be too smart or the man will feel threatened by her. She has to be beautiful and educated so she can speak gracefully in front of people but not too much education because what is she going to do with it in the kitchen as good cooking skills are always favorable and essential. And all of this will grant you society’s approval and admiration.

I always wonder why is that, if a man proposed to a woman then he is a serious, a gentleman and worthy of respect, but if a woman took the initiative, she is desperate, misbehaving and maybe even crazy and unstable.

I asked my father, “is there anything wrong with a person who decides not to tie the knot?” He answered that either she is not beautiful or has psychological issues and if he is a man, he must not be able to afford to marry. So from my father’s point of view, I am ugly and mentally ill. I cannot imagine myself getting married just because I turned thirty. I would love to think that someday when my time comes, I am going to meet the man I am destined to marry. I also think that a person can only succeed in doing something he is truly passionate about, and the rest does not matter.

The hard task is convincing your family and friends that your decisions are yours and only yours. Even if they do not approve, at least they must be happy if they care for you. Every parent wants what is best for their child. It may seem like an impossible mission to make them satisfied except though you choices, but at the end they will figure out that as long as their child is pleased and content, somehow that is going to be good enough.

A normal person follows society’s instructions, but if you ask me being normal is just boring. So if you do not want to get married, have kids and build the career that people expect, I say: “ It is ok, because at the end of the day looking in the mirror and still being able to recognize yourself is what truly matters. Do not do what everyone else is doing just because it is suitable, safe and predictable. I say go for the unknown, get loose, live a little or a lot, make your own decisions.