By Omar Bihmidine
By Omar Bihmidine
Morocco World News
Sidi Ifni, Morocco, May 15, 2012
Love, from my point of view, is egoistic in reality. Yet, idealistically, it is altruistic. Here, we must make a clear-cut distinction between the two factors determining and leading to love. For instance, each time you discuss love with a principled woman or man, they usually feign wisdom and go on to tell you that love is altruistic and that what is of greater value at the end of the day is not how one looks or what social position he or she holds, but rather, the nature of the soul one bears inside.
The latter, for the principled, is what leads one to fall in love with the opposite sex. In reality, though, that is not what makes one fall in love, especially for the sake of marriage. Undeniably, human nature draws people to beauty. All human beings, by nature, highly appreciate and idolize beauty no matter how different definitions of this abstract entity are.
However, when we talk about what should actually be the case, we discover that we always try to convince ourselves that beauty does not matter and should not be the most important factor for the main reason that physical attraction cannot serve as a strong basis for love in general and for spousal love in particular. Whether we like it or not, valuing beauty and thinking about it during the first days of courtship is inescapable. And since it is inescapable, love instantly turns out to be egoistic, not altruistic.
Have you ever heard of a woman falling passionately in love with a toothless, emaciated beggar sitting along a sidewalk and begging? Have you ever heard of a man falling passionately in love with a cross-eyed and bald woman? Has a man ever told you that he has fallen in love with a woman who walks with a limp? Has a woman ever told you that she has fallen in love with a man who is missing one arm owing to an accident? If you answer in the negative, which I am certain you will all do, then love is definitely egoistic, not altruistic. Notwithstanding, such is life! We have to bear it at all costs.
In everyday life, we cannot often help preaching on how love should be, not how it is in reality; on how love should be manifested, not how it is already manifested and; on how love is non-existent for some people, not why this is so. We usually forget to ask the unasked questions with regard to the bitter reality of love. One day, my mother told me that my aunt in-law whose brother is a poor florist was looking for a simple, naive and extremely patient girl for her brother.
When I inquired about these strange attributes, my aunt in-law responded by saying that only a girl of this kind will wholeheartedly accept to marry such a poor florist. At the time, the question that instantly came to my mind was: suppose my aunt in-law’s brother were a businessman or a rich professor, would he still look for the same girl? I don’t think so. This, in all frankness, is living proof that love, especially spousal love, is egoistic. We might well say that we all want love to be altruistic, but love, regrettably, is not so.
With all sincere respect for my species, I often prefer the emotional lives of dogs over those of human beings with regard to altruistic love. Once you befriend a particular dog, he on the spot loves you altruistically, treats you as his best friend in life, runs after you whenever you are in sight, and most importantly loves you more than he loves himself. The love shown by dogs is far from being egoistic as there is nothing of value a dog can gain from his master, whereas the love shown by human beings is far from being altruistic.
Omar Bihmidine is high school teacher of English. He obtained his Associate Degree at Choaib Eddoukali University in 2008. His writings take the form of short stories, poems and articles, many of which have been published in Sous Pens magazine, in the ALC magazine in Agadir, and in the late Casablanca analyst newspaper.
The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect Morocco World News’ editorial policy.
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