Rabat - I have decided to write this after having gone through quite a bit of criticism over the past few months (or is it years, I don’t remember). My ideas and beliefs are apparently so outlandish that people around me feel obliged to criticize me and “wake me up” from my “delusions.” Am I an alien who needs to be taken back to its planet, or am I simply, harmlessly different?
Rabat – I have decided to write this after having gone through quite a bit of criticism over the past few months (or is it years, I don’t remember). My ideas and beliefs are apparently so outlandish that people around me feel obliged to criticize me and “wake me up” from my “delusions.” Am I an alien who needs to be taken back to its planet, or am I simply, harmlessly different?
My “unforgivable,” bizarre ideas often revolve around me trying to convince people that marriage and/or having children is not made for everybody. Marriage and procreating are first and foremost choices; choices that no single person has a say in, except he/she who wants to or does not want to get married and procreate. Society and its constituents have placed norms and constraints on our lives to the point where most of us follow the crowd, abide by many unwritten rules and bury our real desires somewhere deep down, just to fit in. Well, as much as it is a choice not to question who put those boundaries on our lifestyles and where they come from, isn’t it also a choice not to conform? Not to want what everybody else wants?
Going back to the topic of getting married, I strongly believe that for self-made, well-established, independent human beings, marriage is not a priority anymore. A lot of people want to focus more on their personal and professional development rather than spend their time and energy on a relationship that may or may not work out in the end. And for us, the aforementioned people, it is sadly but honestly rare to find someone who respects our privacy, our independence, our freedom, our carefree lifestyle, and so many other aspects of our lives that we cannot give up for any relationship; because if it weren’t for these same aspects, we would be following the herd. We would be living a life of monotony, going to work and coming back home, doing the same old things, talking about the same old topics, going to bed and doing it all over again the next morning, stuck in the same routine.
Marriage, for an independent person is a shackle to the limitless possibilities out there- to an infinite world that’s waiting to be discovered. If settling down means putting your dreams and aspiration to sleep and giving birth to problems and worries and limitations that were not in our lives to begin with, then no, people like me do not want to settle down. And it’s not that I have a negative image of what marriage is, because I don’t. I am basing myself on years of thorough observation of how my married friends and relatives are leading their lives, all alike, all lifeless! If I and the eccentric people like me ever decide to get married, it will never be because society has convinced us that we ought to do so, or that we just don’t want to be alone anymore, it will be because we finally found that one person, as rare as they might be to find, who will be eager to venture across the world with us, across our hopes and dreams, towards ever-changing goals that we have yet to set for ourselves as individuals and together as adventurers.
All in all, my dearest readers, if you ever have to sit down and listen to ordinary people criticize you for being different, forever stand firm and stick to your guns; intransigency is a virtue sometimes. And if anyone of you who is reading this, is happily married and have ever tried to convince the rest of us, single people out there, that we live in misery and have no idea what we’re missing, we thank you for your concern, but ask that you mind your own business. I am pretty sure you are up to your ears with unresolved issues and never-ending worries waiting for you at home. We can take care of ourselves. Thank you.
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