By Gunda Pietsch- Vienna
In my family, religion was never a big topic. My mother and my father left the church before I was born. Whether or not there is a God, He was never discussed.
My opinions on the topic changed with whatever particular attitude towards life I was having at any given time. About three years ago, for instance, I believed that what happened in my life was up to me entirely and that after death there will be a new life.
While searching for some English tutoring online, I started chatting with this man. When the whole affair became more serious, Islam became a topic. I was interested, but to be a Muslim woman? No, someone with a head scarf who follows her husband around like a puppy dog and who has to obey him and play housewife for him for the rest of my life…. No, thanks.
But my present husband wouldn’t give up.
Again and again he talked to me about Islam, of Muhammad, of worldly wisdom…
My family didn’t notice much. Even though they knew something was going on, Islam was never mentioned at home.
My best friend at the time though soon understood what was going on. Despite her respect for my gradual change she was not willing to accept it. Time and time again she tried to change my mind voicing her objections. According to her opinion nothing had been decided yet.
But I felt very comfortable in Islam. After a visit to the Islamic center in Vienna and a long conversation with a nice man there I knew what lay ahead. I changed the way I dressed, wore long tops or pullovers and always a scarf around my neck.
In secret, I also learnt how to pray and memorized two chapters from Quran to be able to perform prayer. Every now and then I would pray. But even though I felt very drawn to Islam, I did not feel like a Muslim woman. Occasionally at the weekends I would pray once or twice but besides that my life ran its usual course.
After approximately one year (2012) the time had come. I told my family and friends that I wanted to fly to Morocco to my present husband. My mother was shocked and was extremely scared, but I was old enough to know what I wanted. To my mother’s credit, she would never have intervened. She was not happy but she accepted it.
My friends confronted me with arguments such as:
“What if it doesn’t work out?”
“What if he abducts you, locks you up…?”
“Haven’t you read the book ‘Not without My Daughter’?”
But nothing helped. My decision had been made.
In the middle of July I landed at the airport of Morocco and one could instantly sense a difference, not just due to the language or the outward appearance. The mentality of people fascinated me immediately.
The taxi driver entered his car with ‘Bismillah’ and my husband’s family greeted me with ‘Salam alaykum’. I felt good right away.
Even though I didn’t understand a word and my husband had to translate everything, I felt at home.
Before, I had only worn the head scarf at home for prayer but in Morocco it simply seemed to fit. I wrapped a colorful scarf around my head in a way that also covered my neck a little. Dressed like that, I finally went to my first prayer in a mosque five days after my arrival. I was not scared because my husband’s sister came with me. But as soon as we sat down, a lady walked over to us and waved her hands in front of me. My head scarf was put on wrong – it didn’t cover enough.
You would think that this experience was enough to put me off going to the mosque but at every opportunity I asked my husband to go to prayer with me. The congregational prayer fascinated me back then just as much as it does today.
Then, unfortunately, I had to return home and the ‘old life’ continued. Head scarf off and occasionally a secret prayer…
About Time We Married
When my husband asked me after a while if it wasn’t about time we married, I got somewhat scared. But I had already fallen in love with him too much to be able to take a step back. I made it official and told my family:
“Tomorrow I will go to the mosque and accept Islam as my religion.”
Afterwards I stopped a few things at once and everyone around me noticed the change. No alcohol (at first I missed those shandies with my friends but what a shandy can do water can do too), no pork (never had it much at home – no one really liked it). Those were the biggest alterations in my life. Besides that, I had stayed the same person. My mother had raised me according to “standard” principles and so I felt entirely at ease.
Entering Islam for me wasn’t a dramatic experience because I already felt as a Muslim woman. It just hadn’t been official yet. But now I could say: “I’m off to pray”, and everyone knew why. I also tried to be more committed with praying and I read more and more about Islam.
Sometimes I did feel rather lonely, I don’t like to approach people and that’s why my husband stayed my only source of answers to my questions. He did his very best to answer me correctly and always checked on the internet or asked an Imam friend of his.
In the summer of 2012 I flew to Morocco again, this time in order to get married. This time I covered my head already at the airport in Vienna. When compiling our marriage papers I had to say the Shahadah again because the registry officer there would not accept the certificate I had brought with me which I thought was strange. Whoever prays says the Shahadah several times a day, anyways. But ok….
During summer, for the first time I felt like a Muslim woman and I tried to do everything the way it was supposed to be. I fasted Ramadan with my husband’s family and, for two months, experienced life in Morocco first hand.
When I returned to Austria, I didn’t remove the head scarf anymore. I actually wore it with great joy whenever I stepped out of the house. My family found me wearing the head scarf weird at first, but they would never have asked me to take it off.
Then the time came to return to work and when I arrived there I found something I had never expected. The directress of my kindergarten was very interested. Immediately she inquired with the executive suite if it was allowed for me to wear the head scarf. But because I know how wearing a head scarf can cause problems with some people, I gave it up and postponed wearing it for a few years.
After a year of work, Ramadan came and I felt I wanted to continue wearing the head scarf and I have been ever since, even at work. The children were also interested and often asked me why I wore a scarf around my head. Another child told me: “Your hair is hidden, right?” The example that fascinates me the most is that of a 1 year old in my kindergarten group who starts crying when I take off the head scarf!
This is how I found my way to Islam. I do have to say though that I have been really lucky. I have experienced acceptance from everyone around me which has surprised me personally very much when one considers all these girls who have lost all contact with their family or friends.
I did not have to suffer this fate and I thank God for that every day.
Translated into English by Nadine Mangelsdorf.
Originally published on onislam.net
